So, I've had the same thing hitting me in the face at every turn lately!! God does that with me sometimes. I'm sure the main reason is because I don't listen very well and my obediance is much too often not immediate. Lately, I have been flooded with the idea that I have only as much of God in my life as I want and that really convicts me in so many ways. For so long I thought of the Christian life as a decision you made and then it was done. Yes, you could grow more if you prayed and read your Bible and had Godly friends, but it was pretty much a one time deal and you got all of God and that was it. I have come to realize over the last several years that the Christian life isn't a one day decision but a continuing surrender of my life to God.
God has used several people and situations in my life recently to show me how lightly I and the culture around me looks at following Jesus. I really think that a large number of Christians in our culture (myself included) look at this life in Christ as just living however we want to live and adding just enough of church and God and being a nice person onto it to get us into Heaven and make us ok in our relationship with God. I am confounded at how I can deceive myself into believing that God would be happy with that kind of committment. I wouldn't be - I would never accept that committment from my husband. If he only talked to me once a week, rarely told me that he loved me and never showed me how thankful he was to have me in his life, I would be outraged, hurt, angry, and apalled that he would dare to treat me that way. How much more love and committment should we show to God? He has done far more for me than I could ever wish to do for Ben.
I hear a lot of Christians use this argument to unbelievers: "What if you're wrong? Then you're in trouble. But if I'm wrong and the Bible isn't true, then there's no harm done." I'm sure I've even said this before myself, but I can't find the truth of it in Scripture. The Apostle Paul said that if Jesus isn't who He said He was then we are to be pitied most among men. "If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men the most pitiable." 1 Cor. 15:19 Paul could say this b/c he gave everything he had to follow Christ and if it was all a lie, his life was a disaster! It makes me wonder how different my life would be if it weren't true? If the answer to that is "Not very much", then I'm not living this life right! There should be something so different about my life b/c I have surrendered it to the Lord. I should be set apart from the world!
I spend a lot of time thinking about how great it would be for my church, community, and country to really get on fire for Jesus. I would love a spiritual awakening to take place around me and to be a part of something huge that God is the only explanation for, but the bottom line is that revival starts with me - in my heart. God has never just poured down an awakening on people when they didn't want it. Those things begin in the hearts of individuals - in the surrender of what we are to what He is in us! That's how amazing things happen. That's how we show an unbelieving world that the God of creation, the cross and the resurrection is real and alive today!
I'm always thinking of how I want these things to happen and how if everyone else would just act right and my situation was easier, then I could become this person that God uses in a great way, but maybe, just maybe...
Maybe I am so tolerant of sin in my world b/c I bombard myself with entertainment that says it's ok.
Maybe I become irritable so quickly b/c I let other things take priority over spending time with God and allowing Him to overcome that in my life.
Maybe I don't surrender more of myself to God b/c I know that it will require a sacrifice of some of my selfish desires that I don't want to give up.
Maybe I am critical of others b/c it's easier than dealing with the unconfessed sin in my own life.
Maybe I don't spend as much time alone with the Lord as I should b/c I know that He will call me to do things in His strength that will be hard and uncomfortable for me.
Maybe I don't love my family the way I should all the time b/c I'm not experiencing God's perfect love in my own life.
See, the problem is that I'm finding that the reason my relationship with God isn't what it should be, isn't what God promises me it COULD be, is because of the degree of my committment to Him! We have made it so easy to live our own plan for our lives with very little thought to the fact that our lives should be centered around Him and His plan - not the other way around. God will NOT honor that kind of committment from me!
So, my prayer is this:
God, make your church a people who know truth and stand for it in every situation. Change us to be people after your own heart. May we grieve over our own sin and confess it and repent of it daily to you. Make us a people that fill up with your perfect love and pour it out to those we meet. Show us how to live every moment for your glory and how to show an unbelieving world that you are the answer to their every need. Change the hearts of your church so that we see the inherent beauty in every person you've created and better understand your love for them. Help us to never lose the amazement of being loved by the Lord of Lords and King of Kings. Change us into a people that live all out for you, that show the world our belief by living a life that Jesus is the only explanation for......
and let it begin with me!
We are in revival right now at church and I really feel like God is speaking directly to me through it. Can you tell:)
And because I don't like blog posts without pictures, here is a cute one of Jack from the first day of revival and a new one of Ella Charles with her beautiful little eyes open!
